Do you know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and all your senses need some time to adjust to reality? Like all noises are louder than usual, sight is not as clear as usual and things like that?
I always ask myself why that happens. I mean, if reality is real, why do I have to get used to it every morning I wake up? What happens when I sleep? Where am I during those hours?
I’m kind of into all those “Matrix”-stuff, I read Descartes and Baudrillard and those are the moments I understand best what they were talking about.
When I’m awake I usually look at the clock and if I still have time (like on a free day like today) I don’t get up but close my eyes and try to imagine things. People, situation and so on. It’s like a forced dream and sometimes I even fall asleep or recognize that I remained in bed for another hour or so. I create my own reality and that’s kind of a powerful feeling to be able to do so.

But what I take with me when I finally rise is the questions what is more real: The things I can clearly see, hear, feel and touch or the things I just imagined. I don’t have answers yet.

And then sometimes things happen that are quite weird. When I put on my socks I felt that there was something inside one of them and it created a little bumper. I thought of some kind of cloth or even a little stone or something but what I found instead was a small, dead spider. I don’t know how it got there though I know there are spiders around. As long as they remain out of my reach I allow them to stay, the flat is big enough.

Other subject: Today is the anual day of the german reunion that took place in 1989. As some of you might know Germany was splitted up in to West- and East-Germay, Federal Republic of Germany and German Democratic Republic. I grew up in the GDR. Even our now-capital Berlin was splitted into two parts with a big wall around the western territory. Many people died during the try to pass this wall. And finally in 1989 after more and more people protested against the dictatorship of the only allowed party in the GDR, history took a deep breath and the people teared down the wall form inside. For me it’s the biggest act of humans fighting for freedom in peace that ever happened. No one was killed, the system simply had to give up. Now, 16 years later, many people dislike the changes that took placs afterwards. Many lost their jobs. We all can go now whereever we like to, travel around but on the other hand a certain fear about the future developed that was unknown to people living in the GDR. People tend to say it was better back in those days when there were no VCRs, imported tv sets and bananas in the stores but everyone had a job, a place to live and a perspective because all that was cared for by the government although they just created a nearly perfect illusion.
It’s kinda like in the first “Matrix”-movie when Cypher realizes that “ignorance is bless” and wants to get back into the Matrix because it’s so much easier there. But life is not easy and reality is not easy. I personally like that I have much more freedom now to do what I want than I would have had in the GDR. But in fact sometimes I wonder if I would ever have missed it if history had taken another path…

Still I am thankful for the past. We should not forget how big this was back in 1989. Thanks to all the people who helped to achieve that.